Super-Slow Sloth

sloth (what is me am) (people-human call sloth me) and sloth walk and sloth climb to food and am hungry for am leaves and froot and please do not shoot me i am sloth. slow sloth but super.

danglingthpider:

notcrazyiswear:

I’ve put together a simple chart that explains the various ways you should and shouldn’t summon a waiter over to your table, and the service you’re likely to receive accordingly.

Because if one more middle aged, obnoxious asshole goes “hey you!” and snaps their fingers at me, I WILL snap said person’s neck.

I waitressed my way through college and one night this guy yells at me “Oi! you with the tits!” and my co-worker Matthew walked up to him and said “yes?”

(via baconating)

9gag:

Penmanship 101 for doctors #9gag

9gag:

Penmanship 101 for doctors #9gag

and-the-two-idiots:

stripedpants:

My brother’s friend was starting to apply for colleges. And one of the colleges he applied to required a 3 page essay explaining what daring meant to them.

So being the clever person he was

On the each page he wrote 1 word with huge font,

THIS

IS

DARING

And he later got accepted. 

this is my favorite story on tumblr

(via dumbpost)